Taking away rights of minorities

I'm organizing a petition drive and I need your help. I want to put a proposition before California voters to change the constitution once and for all. The new law is very simple : "All people in California will have equal access to all parking spots."

This may seem like a minor matter but let there be no mistake: the very fabric of our society is at risk. In the last 10 years, during this recent period of huge wealth growth, perhaps while we were all preoccupied with house flipping, activist judges agreed to allow the number of prime parking spaces and placards for people with disabilities grow at an astonishing pace.

I want to make things clear from the very start: This is not about handicapophobia! I have always been a friend of the blue placard; I have loved ones and family members who know people with disabilities. But this proliferation must stop!
It doesn't seem like an unreasonable demand. I'm sure it will handily get a majority vote.

And here's why:
1) We are headed for a serious recession, perhaps a depression. We know that in order to stimulate the economy it's important to eliminate as many barriers as possible between a consumer and a purchase.
How many of us will waste precious time driving in circles in a Safeway or Big Lots parking lot while handicapped people can just drive up to any blue spot (the ones closest to the door of course) and roll away in their wheel chair scot-free?
Imagine the devastating effect this is having on commerce, small and large. People are growing impatient, feel disrespected. Just this week Circuit City has announced it may go bankrupt and one need look no further than the 12 or so spots out in front of the stores that create a veritable wall of China between the store and the many able-bodied shoppers who could be in there stimulating if they had better access.
Did not George Bush himself say that shopping was the most patriotic thing we could do to save our country after September 11? Shopito ergo sum.
2) How many of us have tried to get to an important meeting, --a meeting that will stimulate the economy BTW-- and we've been delayed because a handicapped person who may or may not have a job, was taking the last prime metered spot? Here we are, pockets full of quarters ready to stimulate, and they're blocking the metered spots. And for no fee! How is that going to stimulate the economy?
3) More important than economics though: as handicapped people present themselves as more and more "normalized" our children are being taught in our schools that it's "okay to be handicapped". Zealous teachers have actually come out and proudly admitted to embracing these kinds of beliefs in first and second grade classes. It goes without saying that this is all part of the Handicapped Agenda.
And if we keep giving handicapped people special privileges, like more ramps and curbless street corners, and braille in the subway where will it stop? They'll just want more and more.
Soon they'll want to adopt children.
4) Focus on the Family leader Dr James Dobson, surely sees himself as a modern day prophet when he predicts to the millions who listen to him that gays getting married will lead to the collapse of our healthcare system and possibly social security. But prophet he is not! Because this is a preposterous notion. If his PhD were in public health he would know that allowing the Gays to marry is a good idea since it will actually save us all money. Studies show that ostracizing them causes them to have higher incidences of stress-related medical conditions. Imagine the savings!
On the other hand imagine what I predict truly WILL happen to the health industry: Right now an entire generation of children are being raised on the idea that it's normal to be handicapped and the idea that if they become handicapped themselves they will get choice parking spots in big box stores all over the nation. Imagine what will happen when they turn sixteen. Frightening thought, isn't it?
5) Finally, did our Lord not say that "He who is first will be last and he who is last will be first?" Could there be a clearer mandate? These people have been first long enough. By enacting this legislation to make ALL parking spots equal and putting an end to this ridiculous luxury acquired through wild-eyed judges and legislators we will in effect be enacting the law of God right here on earth.
And is that not our very birthright as God's children?

Join us next week when we hear from our friend Dr. Thomas Johnson author of "Separate Water Fountains: Why We should Subsidize Bottled Water for Recent Immigrants"